UPDATE

Terribly sorry about my absence from the blogsphere recently, I’ve been a little bit under the weather and I lacked every miniscule of motivation and passion to write. As I am writing this, I am sipping moringa tea hoping it will turn on the light bulbs in my head. Have you guys heard about moringa tea? ya’ll should check it up, it is supposed to be nature’s miracle “cure-all”.

So tomorrow is a new month, am so thankful that God has brought my loved ones and I this far at this time of the year. I wish you all my blog friends a happy new month. I am already thinking of my new month resolutions and how to go about them. I find that it is easier to make resolutions and targets by monthly basis/break down New Year resolutions by monthly basis- it makes them easily achievable.

One of my new month resolutions is “operation flat tummy by force!” LOL. I might need to put a picture of what my tummy looks like so that you guys will see and I wouldn’t actually sound so vain…..Mehn, my tummy is bigGGGGGg! This week I tried buttoning my shirt but it wouldn’t, I had to throw on a camisole and leave the buttons open. I am thinking of registering at the gym but I don’t have a minder for my baby yet. Maybe I have to devise my own belly flattening methods at home.

Another resolution is to clear out my wardrobe. I have very few clothes that are my size now, no thanks to my post-baby body. I have already filled out a big Ghana must go and a travel bag. I intend to lose weight but I don’t want to keep the clothes with the hope that I’ll fit into all of them, I’ld rather lose weight and rock it out in new baffs.

Lastly, I really need to pray more. There is a big satisfaction I get from talking to God and I want to explore a deeper relationship with him.

Once more, happy new month my dears! I pray that God will grant you all your heart desires and keep you in good health. Stay blessed!

LIEBSTER BLOG AWARD

My sincere appreciation goes to Sugarspring for this wonderful award. Thank you so much!!!!!!! Your Easter story was such a blessing to me! I didn’t really prepare an acceptance speech and this is my first award so you must really understand that I am a novice at this:-). Please check out her blog here.

So here is how the award works

1. Link back to the person who gave it to you and thank them

2. Post the award to your blog.

3. Give the award to 5 bloggers with less than 200 followers that you appreciate and value.

4. Leave a comment on the 5 blogs to let them know that they have received this award.

I have very few followers so I am giving the award to them because I appreciate them. (Please if you are reading this, you are automatically tagged).

she also tagged me in the elevens game, and here are the questions and answers;

1.who on earth do you think loves you most(apart from God)

 My husband…I guess lol

2. if you were to sacrifice your life for someone, who would it be

Sincerely….i don’t know.
3. have you ever had a crush?

Yes, I was sixteen years and he was my older sister’s friend, he was about twenty-three. I told my sister I liked him and she went straight to him and told him I had a crush on him (very embarrassing). Anyways, I ran into him three years ago at House on the Rock Church. He is now a Pastor.
4. whats the naughtiest thing you did as a child?

This is really difficult, my middle name as a kid was “naughty”

5.If today was your last day on earth, where would you rather be, what would you do and who would you want to spend your last hour with?

In church, worshiping God with Hubby and the whole family

6.if you were given a second chance to begin life again, would you rather be someone else or the same YOU?

I love me anyday, anytime
7. what are you so passionate about in life?

Life itself and fulfilling destiny
8. if you were told to sing a solo for someone on the radio, who would it be going out to?

My husband
9. if you were told to make a shout out to just ONE person on TV, who would it be going out to?

My dad or mum (either)
10. have you ever cried for a friend? and why?

Ermmm…..i don’t think so, can’t remember any such situation
11. if Jesus was coming today, would you be ready? I don’t know, I ask him for grace everyday to be who he wants me to be and I live my life not holding back but opening my heart to Him to perfect me.

Can’t wait to update my blog, but I’ve been so saddled with responsibilities at the home front that give me very little time to write, but I shall do so soon by God’s grace.

EPIC MOMENTS

A friend wrote this as his status update on facebook;
“I saw a guy fall off his bike this morning. He looked around to see if anyone saw his fall. I made sure to make direct eye contact. Yup”.

It really got me laughing my butt off, but that wasn’t the least bit fair on the poor guy, it made me think of my embarrassing moments. Everyone has had them….you know “woraimean”?, those “Abeg,  the earth should just open up now and gulp me hook, line and sinker” moments. I recall my five embarrassing moments from childhood to adulthood:
1.    When I was about five years old, I told my older sis who was eighteen years then and  just got married to her heartthrob that he was just her boyfriend and I was his wife, the mortification effect of that statement still haunts me to date, to think I even knew what “boyfriend” was back then. I must have been suffering from oral diarrhea that day. Once in a while a family member still brings it up and I grimace inwardly.
2.    One faithful day I and my sibs were watching the telly, I think it was a play about cultism in universities, I was about eight years or thereabout, a girl in the play had just been raped (in my house, am the youngest and as at then I had a couple of older ones  in University and Secondary School). After the play ended I just blurted out in a verrrrrry loud voice “RAPE, RAPE, RAPE…..PLEASE YOU PEOPLE SHOULD TELL ME, WHAT IS RAPE?”. My sister nearly twisted my mouth like a mop-head that day cos if my parents had heard that, it would have landed them in some sort of trouble.
*My sharp and loud mouth as a kid did not have part two, my sibs planning something secretly in my presence was like yelling it on the rooftops and surely they did not hesitate in curing me of my “mouthataitis”.
3.    When I was in first year at Uni……. Mehhhhhn, still felling fresh and funky, I had this “chaiker” that was in 2nd year, I never forget his name…Evi (for confidentiality purpose I shall not include his last name even though am tempted to), this dude was literally stalking me about school, I’ld be walking with my clique and one person would go “see Evi, see Evi!” and I would dive for cover. The guy made it a duty to come for ward rounds in my room every night, not even the direct and indirect insults I gave him could stop him, instead he would just smile with *bbm lovestruck eyes* Ok, back to the matter at hand, on one of his numerous visits to my room. I was with my bestie who was also one of my room-mates and she was in her corner doing some stuff, suddenly NEPA struck………I don’t know how to “gist this gist” eh, but what I saw was the shape of someone’s head moving close to mine and then lightning and crack, bang, wap, zap sounds….Apparently what had happened was that the stupid cupid-struck boy had attempted to steal a kiss  in the dark and my bestie, being the eagle-eye ninja that she was swooped on him and gave him the beating of his life, I was just paralyzed to the spot with shock while she beat him out of the room and warned him never to come back, he never did! And my friends had something to talk about for months.
4.    I really have this baby face that make people count off numbers from my real age. While in my final year, I went to my sister’s house to get off some school stress and relax to write a chapter of my project. Was sitting at her balcony and writing my best grammar to impress my project supervisor when a male visitor came. He took one look at me and said “Eiyaa!, I see you are preparing for your WAEC, Jisike! (meaning: well-done) My little niece burst out laughing. I couldn’t explain to the guy that I had spent one year at home after JAMB and five years studying Law at the university, I just nodded and said ”OK!”.
5.    In 2009, while serving my father-land, I redeployed from Kogi state to FCT after orientation. When we got into Camp after the registration, the guy at the store was just dishing out the kits without checking the sizes or our sizes as a matter of fact. This dude was there begging the store keeper “Abeg, oga my khaki  is a three-quarter!”. The guy just hissed and retorted “don  disturb me hia!!!, make you go mammy add materia!” and continued dishing out the kits. Needless to say, mine ended being intended for a yokozuna. Frequent visits to mammy could never bring it down to my size”. Sooooo, I redeployed o, and on the day I was to take my letter to the FCT secretariat, I was walking down the road close to the place with joy and cherry thoughts as per Abuja big babe concerned when I felt something falling down my legs. I didn’t get it initially and kept walking when I suddenly looked down and saw that my beloved oversized khaki had slipped. I quickly grabbed the waist and hitched it back up while looking around to see if anyone had spotted me…luckily, no one had to the best of my knowledge. I ducked behind a car and made sure I knotted my belt till I could hardly breathe.

Let me add a sixth one, though not mine but belonging to my brother. We still tease him all the time about it.
6.    My sister came home one day complaining of a sharp pain in her tummy, she told my mum that she thinks it might be ovulation as she gets the pain on her ovulation date according to her cycle. My bros, Amebo jumped up from where he was and went “Ovulation abi? It happens to me too and all the time!”. He thought it was stomach pains…We still yab him today, even though he’s old.

Right now, I kind of handle my moments especially ones caused by utterances so they don’t turn into epic ones unless they are acts of nature or divinely orchestrated.



photo credit: acidcow.com

IS IT A SIN TO LOVE FOOD?

I love food, don’t know if it is a good thing or a bad thing (ok, I know it’s a bad thing for my waist line) Abu, chops, lems, mangeriecoco name it what you will but I still love food…. My love for food has certainly increased over the past year. Going through pregnancy, I would salivate at every little platter that crossed my path (apart from tomato stew in the early stages, they made me really nauseous). However, my mum would drum into my ears towards the latter part about having an overweight baby…don’t know which scared most, having a “ten-pounder” or irreparable damage to my “unmentionable” below *rolls eyes*. But the fact is that I don’t even eat large portions or eat myself to stupor, am always moderate …I like to think. I just like the fact that I can put food and by that I mean good food in my mouth and savour the amazing taste.

Here’s a list of my favorite foodies:

1. Party Jollof rice: I love party jollof rice, it’s different from the one that is cooked at home because it’s usually cooked with firewood. The more smoky the flavor, the better. I’ve been known to call up my sister on Saturdays to ask her if she has a wedding to attend, just so I could go eat party rice *shame faced*.

2. Cake: you can bribe me with cake anytime, anyday..My favourite flavours are chocolate and vanilla but I can also make do with fruit cake with fluffy butter icing.

3. Abacha (African salad): I grew up in Enugu state, very popular for the African salad. Made with Tapioca,oil, salt, onions, crayfish etc. My sister and I are partners in crime when it comes to this, when I was about 16 years or so, my sister discovered one abacha joint that was about twenty minutes drive from our house, when our parents were out, she would beg me to take a bike to go get some for her from the joint in return for a plate of Abacha with fish and “ponmo” …of course I always fell bait. The cost of biking to the place was more than the two plates of abacha I usually bought. How I miss Enugu, growing up and the abacha…..lol.

4. Ice-cream: Can’t go wrong with ice-cream, licking ice-cream and watching my favourite program on TV. Coconut and chocolate chip *dreamingly sighing*.

5. Caesar salad: I do have a healthy streak in me. First tried it a couple of years ago and was surprised that I liked it, liked the tangy taste of parmesan cheese with the romaine lettuce. I don’t get to eat it often so I make do with coleslaw. Ok, I think I have to stop now, I really hope it’s not a sin to love food .  


photo of cake from www.cakechannel.com /other photos: google images

RANDOM STUFF AND FUNNY STUFF

Glad to be able to do this post. It’s been a long long time since I saw my lovely blogspot and updated, so sad and even sadder is the fact that I’ve not been able to catch up with some lovely blogs I follow like amaka’s notepad, sweetly broken, naija bank girl, gistdotcom, thirdworldprofashional and a host of others. Phew….am tired of complaining of my temporary involuntary hiatus.

So, I have this my cousin Scratch, he is the “randomest” blogger I ever saw if there was ever any word like that and he did this post sometime, it really got me rolling on the floor with laughter. Here is hoping that the laughter will make up for my days of absence, Please check him out at http://scratchbrovaman.wordpress.com

MUSIC AND ME
It was 3pm on a Tuesday afternoon
I sat at my desk staring at the huge pile of work I had infront of me,
“these people will not kill me sha” I grumbled to myself as I took all the papers up in one hand and flung them back on the table with disregard.

I shouldn’t be doing this, this is not me, I can do better than this
I stood up from my desk and walked over to the window, staring at the blazing sun till tears started forcing their way out of my eyes (just like in a 90’s RnB video), In slow motion I looked away from the sun and walked back to my seat and THAT was when it hit me.
I can sing, I used to rap before, I just got bored of hiphop, there are a lot of nonsense songs out there, if I could just make one nice track and it hits, OMO, life will be better,
I began to imagine myself on stage with the likes of Dbanj, Tuface and the rest, This is the life mehn….. just sing one song, let everybody like it and you will jump on stage with superstars and become one yourself….
Why don’t you just do it
What the hell, I stood up from my desk, packed my laptop, and headed to the door,
“and where are you going young man” my boss asked
“im going to chase my destiny, am off to realize my dreams, this isn’t where I belong, I belong out there, to the fans, to the industry, to MUUUSSSSIIIIICCCCC (and maybe movies later cos I hear musicians are now acting these days)” I replied
“hahahahahahaha” he laughed hysterically
ok so my boss has this really annoying laughter that he does, where he thunders the whole earth, and the whole city will know hes around….i can almost swear that one day there was a thunderstorm and my boss was in a good mood so he was laughing crazy that day, I swear, there was no thunder from the sky….no am serious….am not joking I swear….am beginning to think that anytime theres a thunder its just my boss laughing somewhere…..the irony of it all is that my boss is mean faced so I basically don’t understand how a mean faced person like him can produce such a thunderous laughing sound….I DIGRESS.
“so are you saying you’re quitting your job?” he asked
“Yes, and I know you don’t believe in me, but I will show you and the rest of the world that music is my calling.”I replied with confidence.
“ok o” he replied “good luck in your career, but when you decide to come back please buy a bottle of groundnuts for me, I need it for tomorrow.”
“ok sir, thanks for understanding” I said
I left the office and headed straight to the ATM, withdrew my last 40k, the last money in my account, my life savings that I started saving last month when I got this job, my all in all, my everything….as the withdrawal alert came on my fone, I didn’t even bother checking because I knew my account balance was N43:03k, WHO CARES? By this evening I would be a superstar….i would be receiving calls from the biggest promoters in the music industry….i would be a BIGBOY, cos my LEVELS GO DON CHANGE TO 10/10, as a VERY GOOD BAD GUY.
I headed directly to the studio in my area, a session is 40k and I paid it immediately, the producer was less busy so he had time to record me immediately and he ushered me into the studio.
“do you already have a beat in mind or should I play one out for you and you record on it??” he asked
“nahh, I don’t have none, Im just gonna do my thing on any beat yo” I replied with one stupidly fake American accent that even my soul began asking me how many demons entered me in the office.

the beat came on
“yea, yea….uhun….thats right…..yo…..yea.,….” I was feeling the beat bouncing my head to it, 0:33 seconds into the track already
“yea…common….uhun….its your boy……”
Shit I don’t have a stage name, whatever jo
“its your boy scratchbrovaman….this is hiphop yo….”
Shit I don’t know any songs, time is goin…..
“can we take that again? “ the produced called from the other end
“yes I was about to suggest that” I replied
“you ready” he called
“yea….stone me with the beat” I screamed….
The beat came on again

SHIT I DON’T KNOW ANY SONGS……40k is wasting…..session na 5 hours….OMG…na my last money be that….what the hell do I do??
“baby….i need you …common baby….i need you in my life….oh baby….yea…common….baby…..you know I want you….baby….common”
Chorus
“baaayyyyyyybbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy, baby babay baby ooooooh my baby “
Verse 2
“common baby you know I need you common baby just like I said in verse one, baby you know I want you common baby….oh baby please come to me…baby..”
Chorus again
“baaayyyyyyybbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy, baby babay baby ooooooh my baby “
Verse 3
“oh baby I need you in my life…oh baby I can never let you go common baby….oh baby this is verse 3, I did three verses for you….common baby I love you, marry me baby baby baby baby”
Chorus till fade
Well five hours later that was what I came up with…..
Its still in the studio….the producer told me he will mix and master it and send to me, he cannot promote such….he promotes only Gospel songs, it’s a new policy of his studio,…it started today….yes today during my recording….something about the spirit in him telling him to promote only gospel songs…..no he does not know any other promoters….i shouldn’t tell anyone I recorded the track in his studio….well at least he gave me back 500naira for transport.
Yes I went back to work the next morning
Yes I bought the ground nuts……

NAIJA NO DEY CARRY LAST

Happy new month my lovely people, I trust y’all are doing great. Welcome to the month of love *roll my eyes*…lol, that’s the phrase I’ve been seeing on facebook..IMO, I think valentine is overflogged and trust na, Naija no dey carry last for this matter at all. Already babes and wives have started hinting indirectly to their boos on what to buy and marketers have started advertising their goodies on various social networks.
I came across this on basketmouths page and another version on lindaikeji.blogspot.com, I laugh sote laugh make me troway expensive fuel!
QUESTIONS U SHOULD ASK BEFORE BUYING THE NEW BLACKBERRY PORSCHE (at about N360,000)
(1) Does it download food?
(2) Does it fly?
(3) Does it transfer you via bluetooth to another country
(4) Does it come with another life?
(5) Does it come with unlimited BIS?
(6) Does it give you a lap dance?
(7) Does it have Brazilian hair?
If it does not perform any of the above functions, please don't kill ursef; consider buying a land and starting foundation..

I trust that naija people have started acquiring this already. This brings me to the title, I think Nigerians are just people that love adopting any new cultures, craze or fad. It amazes me how it cuts across our different cultural groups….Igbo, Yoruba, Hausa, Ibibio, Efik. If there is a sudden world wide accepted “status symbol” attached to having a yatch, trust me, Nigerians will start purchasing. The Anambra man will acquire his and set it afloat at Agulu lake, the Adamawa man does not mind displaying it, parked in front of his residence should he not have a river in his state to float it open.Well, I guess that is what makes us unique. But does anyone know the reason why Nigerians like to stand out?

BABY UPDATE: baby is growing daily and I thank God for his life, he is beginning to stare for long periods at me and he sleeps better at night now, that’s why am able to do this post now.

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND SORRY FOR THE LOOOONG BREAK

Happy New Year my people!! How una dey? Hope you all had a pleasant Christmas and you are enjoying the New Year already. Must sincerely apologise for the break and gently dust off the cobwebs that are already gathering up...but the break was all for a good cause, Yours truly had a bouncing baby boy on December 21st *clap* clap* YIppEE!!! Yeah, am a mummy! Got discharged from the hospital a day before Christmas, so we spent Christmas at home with our bundle of joy. Hubby was super stoked, i had never seen him that excited. I didn’t get to eat the Chicken and Christmas rice as i was placed on semi-solid foods for a while, trust my mum to fully enforce that.
Our new baby is doing great even though he’s going through a bout of colic at the moment and gets really cranky at some periods. We sometimes have to do involuntary night vigils like am doing now. It is about 3am and i just finished feeding him, i hope he’s full enough to be knocked off till morning. He is really a full time job and i can’t help but doff my hat for my mum who did it for five kids.
Indeed God was faithfully last year and has shown Himself even more faithful this New Year. I thank God for keeping me and all my loved ones. I hope am able to do a post soon to tell y’all how we are progressing but for now i crave your indulgence to go catch a bit of sleep. Happy New Year once more!!!
Peace!!!