NAIJA NO DEY CARRY LAST

Happy new month my lovely people, I trust y’all are doing great. Welcome to the month of love *roll my eyes*…lol, that’s the phrase I’ve been seeing on facebook..IMO, I think valentine is overflogged and trust na, Naija no dey carry last for this matter at all. Already babes and wives have started hinting indirectly to their boos on what to buy and marketers have started advertising their goodies on various social networks.
I came across this on basketmouths page and another version on lindaikeji.blogspot.com, I laugh sote laugh make me troway expensive fuel!
QUESTIONS U SHOULD ASK BEFORE BUYING THE NEW BLACKBERRY PORSCHE (at about N360,000)
(1) Does it download food?
(2) Does it fly?
(3) Does it transfer you via bluetooth to another country
(4) Does it come with another life?
(5) Does it come with unlimited BIS?
(6) Does it give you a lap dance?
(7) Does it have Brazilian hair?
If it does not perform any of the above functions, please don't kill ursef; consider buying a land and starting foundation..

I trust that naija people have started acquiring this already. This brings me to the title, I think Nigerians are just people that love adopting any new cultures, craze or fad. It amazes me how it cuts across our different cultural groups….Igbo, Yoruba, Hausa, Ibibio, Efik. If there is a sudden world wide accepted “status symbol” attached to having a yatch, trust me, Nigerians will start purchasing. The Anambra man will acquire his and set it afloat at Agulu lake, the Adamawa man does not mind displaying it, parked in front of his residence should he not have a river in his state to float it open.Well, I guess that is what makes us unique. But does anyone know the reason why Nigerians like to stand out?

BABY UPDATE: baby is growing daily and I thank God for his life, he is beginning to stare for long periods at me and he sleeps better at night now, that’s why am able to do this post now.

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND SORRY FOR THE LOOOONG BREAK

Happy New Year my people!! How una dey? Hope you all had a pleasant Christmas and you are enjoying the New Year already. Must sincerely apologise for the break and gently dust off the cobwebs that are already gathering up...but the break was all for a good cause, Yours truly had a bouncing baby boy on December 21st *clap* clap* YIppEE!!! Yeah, am a mummy! Got discharged from the hospital a day before Christmas, so we spent Christmas at home with our bundle of joy. Hubby was super stoked, i had never seen him that excited. I didn’t get to eat the Chicken and Christmas rice as i was placed on semi-solid foods for a while, trust my mum to fully enforce that.
Our new baby is doing great even though he’s going through a bout of colic at the moment and gets really cranky at some periods. We sometimes have to do involuntary night vigils like am doing now. It is about 3am and i just finished feeding him, i hope he’s full enough to be knocked off till morning. He is really a full time job and i can’t help but doff my hat for my mum who did it for five kids.
Indeed God was faithfully last year and has shown Himself even more faithful this New Year. I thank God for keeping me and all my loved ones. I hope am able to do a post soon to tell y’all how we are progressing but for now i crave your indulgence to go catch a bit of sleep. Happy New Year once more!!!
Peace!!!

Dear Santa....I’ve been a very good girl.

Christmas is around the corner and the excitement for the season is gradually picking up, don’t know if it’s only moi that is “giddy-giddy” excited and can’t wait for it to come. I have so many things to look forward to this Christmas.

I remember when I was a kid, we always had xmas parties at school at the end of the year with all the razzmatazz and some fake black “father-Christmas” who made half of the kids wail out of fear, the gifts we usually got from him were plastic bowls, exercise books, story books and i think i got bathroom slippers some year...SMH, despite the large amounts we were made to pay back then for the parties.

The coolest part was travelling to villa, we always stopped on the way to buy all sorts.... bread, banana, cashew nuts, “okpa”...name it, aww.....such fond memories, we always had one traditional wedding or occasion to attend and daily visits to relatives both known and unknown..who always exclaimed at how big we’ve grown, visit to grand-ma’s (may her lovely soul rest in peace) and all the rice, chicken, fried meat, mineral and money that our nice relatives dashed us in the spirit of xmas (SIGH) ...someone make me young again puulease!!!

This Christmas, there shall be no travels but i’ll try to have fun and keep in mind the reason for the season. I do hope i get a present this year as i haven’t had one in years...so please santa, i’ve been a very very good girl, here’s my wish list......

1. All expense paid trip to Israel: I have this dream of going to this Biblical wonderful place, to breathe the same air as the people of old (Ok! Practically not the same air but same specie), would love to visit the historic places and have a deep spiritual experience and a time of prayer and meditation.

2. I don’t go “click-click” wherever i go but i love to take nice pictures to capture memories once in a while and what better way to do it than with a high mega-pixel DSLR camera. I also think my blog will benefit greatly from this....hehehe

3. I am presently using this “atmosphere” Primark wallet, have only used it for 5 months and it’s falling apart, i guess it’s all my fault cos i cram a lot into it, sometimes i squeeze my two phones into it when i don’t feel like carrying my bag, now it takes a couple of extra muscles to get the clip shut. Having this nice Salvatore Ferragamo wallet would sure put a smile on my face and ease off the stress to my biceps.

These are the three tangible things am wishing for now, but above all, i wish my family and friends a beautiful Christmas season filled with joy, peace, love and God’s favour...i can’t ask for anything better. Ok! I know this is quite early but MERRY XMAS Y’ALL and VERY PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!!!

HOW SELFISH IS MY LOVE?

This post was actually pre-written in my jotter by 6:38pm sitting at my dining table and holding unto torchlight because PHCH as it’s their usual stock in trade were withholding power.
Just before the above time, was cutting some paw-paw and pineapple in the kitchen and these words came to me ....”HOW SELFISH IS YOUR LOVE?” weird abi? Who thinks of love while straining her eyes to cut some fruits for after dinner.
But it does make a lot of sense, love is a deep emotional sensitive feeling of care you have towards another...friends, family, spouse and of course your neighbour as God commands. It was that same love that prompted God to let his only son die on the cross for our sins (so unconditional and so pure and true), it was also love that was “shacking” Romeo and Juliet (By the way, was it a true life story or fictional work of art?), that same love made Beauty to see Beast as the cutest guy on earth (*slapping myself back to reality* Ok! Am digressing)
The best example of love i can give is the sacrificial love of Christ on the old rugged cross, he took the lashes for our sake, the spitting, accusations, wounds and to cap it all my stupidity, infirmities and shortcomings and come to think of it, he didn’t even charge 10kobo. He also enjoins us to share this same sacrificial love with others.....but lai! Lai! In this age, love has taken every meaning it wishes to other than the above....today, love is greedy, selfish/self-centered, Self aggrandising and a mean little creature..It takes an “in-it-to-win-it” attitude. There is no love between brothers and sisters, husband and wife, parents and children anymore...i recently read a story online about this weird dude that was sexually molesting his teenage daughter, i felt like reaching into the picture and giving him a million slaps to snap his perverse mind back to its senses.
I think love is just putting others needs above mine, it’s sacrificial and seeks to do no wrong......and of course it DOESN”T CHEAT!!!!! SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THAT TO MY NEIGHBOUR!!! (I saw his pretty wife about six weeks ago, but she’s gone back to the UK with their daughter) and guess what??? His olodo, toothpick girlfriend is back....ask me how i knew? They were at their marathon NONSENSE again and woke me up from my beauty sleep only that it wasn’t as loud as usual this time around. Also saw her early this morning..she was probably stepping out to buy something cause she had hair-net on. I actually argued with hubby about it, i told him that if were close to the wife and knew her personally, i would call her up and report her husband’s stupid behaviour immediately....he said if he were the one, he wouldn’t cos that would be putting asunder. Well, for me..o, i can’t just stand what i term EVIL.....anyway that’s story for another day....BUT in all we do, let’s do it in love which is God’s way.

Randomness……Hoarding

Recently, every time I’ve tried to blog, I get this ‘olodo/ode’ blankness in my head…I think it’s called a writer’s block, not that am a writer anyways, am just the girl next door who likes to put one or two thoughts together. I think I might just have to get a new book journal or diary since so I can put my thoughts down as they come. The one I have now happens to be the souvenir from my sister’s wedding. I’ve had it since 2009, it’s already full but I get to scribble stuff in any little space I find, it even served as my wedding diary. It contains shopping lists, addresses, journey planner directions, bible verses, to do lists, job application sites…..Oh! and lots of papers and bits and pieces, my ante-natal card, my first baby scan, deposit slips, old used tickets and haha..You’ld be amazed..my work contract letter to mention a few.

This brings me to my next topic….Hoarding, I think I do a bit of hoarding as evidenced by the above, I hardly throw stuff away (Fear not People! Am still suffering from an early stage of it so am salvageable) and I love to acquire bits here and there, my slogan is YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU MAY NEED IT, I keep little packs of ketchup and barbeque sauce from fast-food joints and I store the serviettes as well (SHAME FACED) as opposed to hubby, he just opens the fridge and empties stuff in the bin or gives them to the gateman. He gives away his clothes like its Christmas. He doesn’t understand why I have so many clothes and yet I complain when we want to go out that I can’t find the perfect clothes to wear. My wake-up call came when I watched an episode of the reality show “HOARDING: BURIED ALIVE”! I shuddered at the thought of being like one of the women who acquired and acquired and acquired till her house turned into a mini DUMP YARD. I think my inclination to keep stuff stems from the fact that I am the last child in the family…..yeah, the one that always had the hand me downs and never had the person to hand down to (Trust Oyinbos! There’s always a psychological reason for everything under the blue sky including why a chimpanzee is black), the show tried to discover the psychological reasons why the nominees hoarded and to tackle same.

After watching the show, next day I quickly threw out the empty icecream ice pack I had kept in the fridge, I had earlier kept it and when hubby asked why I did so, I said it would definitely come in handy to me soon….i don’t even make homemade ice-cream, so come to think of it, am asking myself now…”was I jazzed?”. I’ve started packing up clothes I don’t use anymore, eve those I think I might need in the future because I believe someone else needs it now better than I do.

It feels good to shed excess baggage; it is sooooo better to give than to receive, the biblical injunction I see now was not only made for the receiver to be happy and thankful but also for the giver to give out of the abundance he has been blessed with and receive peace.

IN A WHILE

I haven’t blogged in a while, I keep giving excuses but I hope God gives me the strength to do so more often, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I came across two poems I wrote in 2005…wow, that’s a long time ago, was probably in the last semester of my first year then..Just thought I should share them. The first one re-instates my phobia for Lagos…phew…goes to show my phobia didn’t start today and I think I must have written the second one at some “trying point” in my teenage life…lol, it leans a bit towards suicidal tendency…hehehe..just kidding. It’s good to dig up the past sometimes and compare it with how far we’ve come and bless God for what we’ve become. Anyways, enjoy my amateur poetry.

1. CITY LIFE

Tooting horns
Angry drivers
Impatient pedestrians
Crying babies
Hungry beggers
Lurking pick-pockets
Dirty drains
Dusty cars
Overcrowded buses
Sweaty bodies
Vain prostitutes
Overgrown bushes
vicious psycos
Lagos life
City life.





2. SOLITUDE

All i ask is solitude
to bask in the sunshine
happy and content
to stand erect in the rain
and watch it wash away my pain
oblivious of the giant tress
which stand like huge pillars

All i ask is solitude
to escape the noise if the crowded city
and wander in the beautiful gardens
which smell of musk and heaven
alone and merry
in pure sheer delight of nudity
with the cool mist resting on my body

All i ask is solitude
to be alone for once
and understand what it feels like
to do whatever i wish to do
without wagging tongues and pointing fingers
to scream, shout and vent out
fury which have been locked up
like the aged volcanic mountains

All i ask is solitude
leave me and let me be
let me express my innermost desires
let me be me
let my voice be heard
high above the realms of Pluto
leave me please
all i ask is solitude!

LITTLE LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME GLAD

Some days we are carried away with the stress of everyday’s work, relationships, studies, financial obligations…..generally, routines that we follow religiously everyday like hypnotized zombies. Sometimes, I wonder what every other person’s daily routine is like. Mine is usually like this…
-wake up at three minutes to six in the morning (three minutes is what I give myself to drag me out of my yummy bed to say thank you to my maker by 6am)
-Finish my prayer about 6:30ish and jump right back to bed (there’s this unquantifiable satisfaction that comes from early morning sleep. Thank God am not in high school anymore, during our long vacs when we’ld come home from boarding school, my mum would give I and my siblings just one week grace of extra morning “sleep-offs”, the following weeks, we were either awakened by nice cane strokes or chores that had to be carried out instanta…chai!)
- I finally wake up proper at seven and fix breakfast for hubby and myself which I don’t get to eat till after a quick bath
- After eating, I get to make up, I don’t leave for work without it (not like my make up is anything to write home about, but just enough to make it seem like I didn’t fall out of bed that morning or had a wild extra wild night)
- Get to the office, at about 8:20, check my corporate mail, e-mail and a few routine blogs.
- 9am-4pm (work, work, work, work till am gasping for air, face one complaining investor or the other, and yeah! It’s amazing how I always have the same words for them “am sorry, your case is being handled! Kindly put down your name and contact and you will be notified as soon as your case is resolved” Bingo!!….and if Oga is away, it’s usually a field’s day!!!! OFFICE PARRY!!!, it means you can sneak in and out…but that’s usually not so often)
-4:15pm, sneak away from the office or should I say, attempt a mad dash for the door or “mission-impossible” moves like hiding behind a door, rolling my bag on the floor and literally crawling to the entrance of my office, or getting some poor colleague from another office to sneak out my bag. But NO! my Oga always has a way of spotting us out, he always barks out “hei you! Where are you going to? Come back here!”. If Oga by chance steps out of the office by 4ish, we usually spy down the corridor, but there’s this crazy stuff that always happens..just as you hit the lift button, he steps out from the lift and barks “where are you going to?”. Msheew, we don’t even get paid to do extra time, and we don’t even get much done once it is 4pm cos other offices close, it’s the official closing hour.
-4:35-40pm, get home and rest for about 15mins before preparing dinner. Hopefully, I get done around 6pm or after 6pm..depends on what it is.
-6pm-ish, do some laundry that has been waiting..washing or ironing (both I and hubby’s) he claims that washing gives him blisters..am yet to verify that..lol, but we made a bargain that if he can’t wash, he has to keep the house clean and wipe surfaces (wiping am sure doesn’t give blisters)
- Hubby comes home by 7:30 to 8pm, we have dinner together and chit-chat about our day
- Watch NTA news by 9pm or CNN if it’s dry, and usually NTA news bores me…..after the first 15mins, I unconsciously reach out for the remote.
-10 pm, pray and sleep!
And next day, we do it all over again!!
But that is not the essence of this post, the real deal is that despite all the rigours of daily life, we should find little little things that make us glad like calling a close friend to ask howdy and offering encouragement from God’s word, rendering help to a stranger that least expects it, taking time out to savour a huge chocolate sundae over an interesting book, kicking back and watching a nice movie, fellowshipping in His presence, spending quality time with someone you love, visiting the spa and getting that pedicure you’ve been procrastinating about and doing something that makes you have a good hearty laugh….afterall, laughter is the best medicine.